My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
