you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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