tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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