Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude that chick in the corner just threw up

(201): View more from New Jersey

Hot

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(215): Dude that chick in the corner just threw up (201): Hot http://tfl.nu/kiil

Replies (2) Good night (896) Bad night (1124)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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(617): a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you</3 http://tfl.nu/z6s1

Replies (32) Good night (1427) Bad night (8623)
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(904): View more from Florida

I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

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(904): I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion http://tfl.nu/iqkp

Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (3260)
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(940): View more from Texas

now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place

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(940): now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place http://tfl.nu/nwqq

Replies (9) Good night (1324) Bad night (4670)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

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(780): My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/iiov

Replies (5) Good night (3775) Bad night (1000)
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(816): View more from Missouri

no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.

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(816): no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help. http://tfl.nu/7acp

Replies (7) Good night (2532) Bad night (964)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2268) Bad night (815)
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(954): View more from Florida

Promise me you won't have sex in my room

(248): View more from Michigan

I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try

(248): View more from Michigan

Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.

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(954): Promise me you won't have sex in my room (248): I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try (248): Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge. http://tfl.nu/lf7v

Replies (2) Good night (1402) Bad night (552)
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(785): View more from Kansas

well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.

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(785): well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo. http://tfl.nu/3cg7

Replies (2) Good night (945) Bad night (718)
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(512): View more from Texas

There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.

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(512): There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls. http://tfl.nu/qrvu

Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (604)
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(607): View more from New York

Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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(607): Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like. http://tfl.nu/4oye

Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (551)
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(773): View more from Illinois

It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.

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(773): It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11. http://tfl.nu/euda

Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (439)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.

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(203): If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that. http://tfl.nu/gaz3

Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (354)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.

(423): View more from Tennessee

I felt the need to accentuate it....

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(859): You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for. (423): I felt the need to accentuate it.... http://tfl.nu/t7pe

Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (562)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?

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(647): Was your bare penis on or around my blanket? http://tfl.nu/gx7p

Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (257)

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