I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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