WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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