I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
