You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
