when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.