I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts