There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.