Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize