He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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