Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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