Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want a musical about memes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
