I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
