I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
