i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
