did you get engaged???
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
