What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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