hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize