Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
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I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
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Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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