I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
