So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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