I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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