We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
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I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.