I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.