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Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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