if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize