Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
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Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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