Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17295) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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  (404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi
  Replies (21) Good night (960) Bad night (6667)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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  (954): God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through. http://tfl.nu/ylm6
  Replies (28) Good night (778) Bad night (4372)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

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  (636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna
  Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (2491)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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  (425): Come, dress lightly, bring tequila... http://tfl.nu/t2fe
  Replies (6) Good night (2191) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot

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  (859): when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot http://tfl.nu/j6dz
  Replies (4) Good night (1561) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina

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  (813): Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina http://tfl.nu/thir
  Replies (9) Good night (2608) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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  (817): I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children http://tfl.nu/nt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1582) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

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  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (864) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.

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  (406): You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him. http://tfl.nu/veeu
  Replies (12) Good night (568) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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  (780): You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day! http://tfl.nu/bw0f
  Replies (5) Good night (314) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.

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  (985): How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit. http://tfl.nu/kln2
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Gross! What the hell is that?!?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.

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  (404): Gross! What the hell is that?!? (623): It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon. http://tfl.nu/hr7g
  Replies (7) Good night (862) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...

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  (303): Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching... http://tfl.nu/8tua
  Replies (4) Good night (370) Bad night (632)

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