that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.