were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.