You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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