and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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