; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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