i permit you to call me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
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I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?