Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....