Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize