problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
