my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.