possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED