I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.