dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.