You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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