..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize