Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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