Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize