if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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