I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.