idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?