Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?