I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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