Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned