everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA