We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go