If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dignity is for republicans.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
