Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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