I only kidnapped one of them. chill
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
