So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
