I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
