You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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