Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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