dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
