sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
