I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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